Oregon Police Beg Idiotic Public to Stop Calling 911 If They Run out of Toilet Paper

Oregon police ask public to refrain from calling 911 if they run out of toilet paper

The mainstream media has whipped public into such a panicked frenzy over the Coronavirus that people are now calling 911 when they run out of toilet paper.

Toilet paper keeps selling out at Costco, Sam’s Club and smaller grocery store chains across the USA.

Now, so many people are inundating 911 operatives with reports of running out of toilet paper that police in Oregon are pleading with members of the public to stop misusing the service.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” Newport Oregon Police said in a Facebook post.

Thegatewaypundit.com reports: The police had some fun and offered residents alternatives to toilet paper if they were to run out.

“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police said.

“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”

“Mayans used corn cobs. Colonial Americans also used the core of the cob. Farmers not only used corn cobs, but used pages from the Farmers Almanac. Many Americans took advantage of the numerous pages torn from free catalogs such as Sears and Roebuck. The Sears Christmas catalog, four times thicker than the normal catalog, could get a family of three wiped clean from December through Valentine’s Day; or Saint Patrick’s Day if they were frugal.”

“Then, of course, there are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now. Plus, there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will even tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin. Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”

Grocery stores have also been cleaned out of pasta, eggs, milk, flour and canned soup thanks to the hysteria caused by the media.