Liberal women on Twitter are complaining they can’t stop having sex dreams featuring President Donald Trump, the man they spend their days railing against on the social media platform.
Hundreds of liberal women have made the confession in the last few weeks and the fantasy sex described by these women runs the gamut from sex with Trump and handcuffs, to sex with Trump and other celebrities, to sex with Trump in cars, to sex with Trump “in demon form,” to sex with Trump on the Resolute Desk.
One woman, the founder of a leftist publishing house, said her Trump sex dream was so powerful she woke up with the “worst headache” and a “sore jaw from teeth grinding.”
The phenomenon is not limited to leftist females. Many liberal men, some of whom claim they are not homosexual, have also come forward in solidarity with their sisters and shared details of their own sordid sex dreams featuring the POTUS.
Searching Twitter for sex dreams with Trump is the contemporary equivalent of peering into the modern liberal soul. As such, the results are not pretty. Prepare yourself for a hefty dose of liberal self-loathing, hypocrisy and general moral confusion.
What is going on? Does the fact the president is featuring in secret nocturnal sex dreams up and down the Eastern and Western seaboard indicate something is — quelle horreur — unnatural and unhealthy about the leftist mentality?
Are liberals spending their days pretending to resist Trump and oppose the MAGA movement, only for their nighttime subconscious to kick in and rearrange their mental furniture, cleaning house and placing things into a more natural and pleasing order?
It doesn’t take a dream interpreter to figure out these women are secretly craving a real man in their lives.
But it gets even worse.
Liberal women can’t stop writing articles about having “hot sex” with Trump supporters.
In an article titled Help, I Can’t Stop Hooking Up With Trump Supporters, a liberal journalist details the first time she hooked up with a Trump man, assuring her liberal audience that it was her “worst hookup.” Yet within the space of a few paragraphs she backtracks completely and claims “the sex was hot.”
I knew we’d never be anything more to each other than a hookup, but I didn’t care. The sex was hot, and it was uncomplicated in the sense that neither of us expected—or even really wanted—any strings attached. And since I was confident in my political convictions, all that witty banter about tax codes, emails, and border walls was the foreplay I never knew I needed.
I assumed it was a onetime experiment, but shortly after we ended things I started sleeping with yet another Trumpster who I was inexplicably attracted to. This, I’m sorry to say, was after Trump had secured the nomination, but in my defense I was still pretty certain we were going to elect Hillary Clinton, so I could ignore the fact that this guy’s family wore MAGA hats.
You know all these leftist women who shriek “RAPE CULTURE!”, “PATRIARCHY”, “TOXIC MASCULINITY!” all have a well-thumbed copy of Fifty Shades of Gray. Let’s face it, to paraphrase Gov. Schwarzenegger, liberal girly men just do not pass muster.
The sex dreams of Twitter prove what we suspected all along.
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