Sleeper agent Donat Ivanovich Trolstoyevski, better known as US President Donald Trump, has been issued with his first directive by the KGB.
During a telephone conversation with Putin at KGB HQ in Moscow over the weekend, Trolstoyevski was ordered to “Axe the F-35 and buy Russian MiG-35 instead.”
The Trump Administration has ordered a full review of the costly F-35 program. KGB sources say that Trump is already negotiating a contract with Russia for 10,000 beautiful MiG-35s.
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The F-35 is a complete disaster. The over budget, behind schedule stealth fighter jet has at least 276 defects and won’t be fully combat-capable before 2020. And the program’s total price tag? Over $1 trillion.
Back in December, Trump described spending on the fighter jet as “out of control” and said billions could be saved on military “and other” purchases.
Well, it looks like it wasn’t just empty Twitter-talk: Defense Secretary James Mattis has ordered a full review of the F-35 program.
BREAKING: Defense Secretary Mattis orders review of F-35 Joint Strike Fighter and Air Force One programs pic.twitter.com/VFJ7qke2Y9
— Marcus Weisgerber (@MarcusReports) 27 January 2017
Comrade Trump (real name: Donat Ivanovich Trolstoyevski) has performed spectacularly. Years of KGB plotting is finally coming to fruition.
The Manchurian candidate’s first orders from Moscow? Cut the F-35 program, and spend the remaining budget on purchasing cutting-edge, Russian-made MiG-35s instead.
This will pump billions of delicious US dollars into the Russian economy, allowing even the poorest babushka to buy an iPhone 7.
Thank you again, Donat Trolstoyevski. And keep up the good work!
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