Church leaders are demanding that the UK government enforce stricter rules on the sale of domestic knives to reduce knife crime.
Church of England bishops have written an open letter to ministers asking for a ban on the sale of pointed kitchen knives.
They say that re-designing domestic knives to give them rounded tips would combat knife crime by making “life-threatening” injuries “far less likely.”
The absurdity of banning a common kitchen implement was pointed out by bemused netizens, particularly as the proposal comes after police recently announced that they will no longer post images of seized knives “to help reduce the fear of knives,” and as the Home Office uses takeaway packaging to basically tell people that stabbing is bad.
Despite such ingenious crime-fighting tactics, the government seems to be having little actual effect on violent knife crime rates, and appears to be failing to assure the public that the problem is being dealt with comprehensively.
Many Twitter users were baffled by the suggestion of a pointed kitchen knife ban, wondering if it’s some sort of joke, while others highlighted the fundamental futility of the idea by noting how easy it is to find an alternative sharply-pointed weapon, or to make one.
Some weighed in with creative alternatives to food preparation, should you find yourself bereft of a pointed kitchen knife.
And commenters across the pond were less than impressed with the ‘banning pointy knives’ proposal, with one saying: “When you Europeans get high and mighty about America’s guns and tell us we need to be more like you… this is what comes to mind.”
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