Barr Says Epstein Died Via A Very, Very, Very Long Series Of Unfortunate Coincidences

Notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, who was intimately connected to many of the world's most powerful people, died because of a very, very, very long series of unfortunate coincidences, according to Attorney General William Barr.

Notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, who was intimately connected to many of the world’s most powerful people, died because of a very, very, very long series of unfortunate coincidences, according to Attorney General William Barr.

I can understand people who immediately, whose minds went to sort of the worst-case scenario because it was a perfect storm of screw-ups,” Barr told AP on Thursday.

Barr’s series of unfortunate coincidences included Epstein being taken off suicide watch (not long after an unsuccessful suicide attempt that many believe was actually an attempted murder), two security guards simultaneously falling asleep on the job when they were required by law to be monitoring Epstein, one of those guards not even being an actual security guard, both security cameras outside Epstein’s cell mysteriously failing at the same time, at least eight Bureau of Prisons officials knowing Epstein wasn’t meant to be left alone in his cell and leaving him alone in his cell anyway, Epstein’s cellmate being transferred out of the cell the day before Epstein’s death, Epstein signing a will for the first time in his life two days before his unfortunate death, unexplained injuries on Epstein’s wrists and shoulder that were unreported until his family reported them after the autopsy, and a forensic expert who examined Epstein’s body claiming that his injuries were more consistent with homicidal strangulation than suicide.

Sure is a very, very, very long series of unfortunate coincidences.

There is another strange coincidence involved in this case too, however. Barr’s father gave Epstein his first job.

The attorney general also sought to dampen conspiracy theories by people who have questioned whether Epstein really took his own life, saying the evidence proves Epstein killed himself,” AP reports. “He added that he personally reviewed security footage that confirmed that no one entered the area where Epstein was housed on the night he died.

Well, if assuring the world that he has reviewed security footage which we were previously told didn’t exist due to camera malfunctions isn’t enough to put to bed all conspiracy theories forever, I don’t know what is.

So there you have it. Bill Barr says that an intelligence asset with damning information on many powerful individuals did in fact kill himself due to an admittedly unlikely and wildly coincidental series of extraordinarily strange coincidences.

Nothing to see here, folks. Don’t ask any questions. Move along.

One of Epstein's victims, identified only as Jane Doe 15, wore an ‘EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF’ bracelet during press conference Monday.
One of Epstein’s victims, identified only as Jane Doe 15, wore an ‘EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF’ bracelet during press conference Monday.

Mr. Epstein’s death in August at a federal detention center in Manhattan set off a rash of unfounded conspiracy theories on social media that were picked up and repeated by high-profile figures, including Mayor Bill de Blasio and former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani. No matter their ideology, the refrain of the theories was the same: Something did not add up,” says The New York Times in its report Barr’s statements.

Now we have mainstream media confirming that Epstein died via a series of very, very, very unfortunate coincidences and there is nothing so see here and you are a kooky conspiracy theorist if you think the elites might be covering something up.

Baxter Dmitry

Baxter Dmitry

Baxter Dmitry is a writer at News Punch. He covers politics, business and entertainment. Speaking truth to power since he learned to talk, Baxter has travelled in over 80 countries and won arguments in every single one. Live without fear.
Email: baxter@yournewswire.com
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Baxter Dmitry