An eerie 1994 article taken from Vice magazine has surfaced, which shows Beavis & Butthead dressed as Al Qaeda operatives flying planes into the twin towers.
Could the article with accompanying picture, written some 7 years before the actual September 11th attacks, be some kind of hint of what was to come by the powers that be? Or is it all a massive coincidence?
From Vice Magazine, 1994:
The article itself, reads:
Remember that Ryder truck that was crammed with canisters of compressed hydrogen and a few nice long fuses and driven into the World Trade Center’s underground parking structure and blown up last year? It blasted a hole through four levels of concrete sub-basement. Some experts say that if it were a few feet closer to an essential support column, it could have brought both towers down.
Can you imagine the carnage? Can you even begin to start to go down the trail of comprehending what it would be like if the Twin Towers were to collapse? We lost six unfortunate civilians in last year’s attack, and even that felt insane. If the towers were to actually fall we just might have to join the Marines ourselves. Not that they would have us.
“So,” you might be asking, ”who is the sick fuck who did this, and where do he and his buddies come from? Because I am about to go find them and break their terrorist necks like Van Damme in Timecop, which by the way is one of the best movies of this year!” Well, I hope your passport is up–to-date and you have all your shots, because you’re about to go to Afghanistan, my friend. Ramzi Yousef, the man who lit the fuses on the van bomb, is a Kuwaiti national who is a member of the latest terrorist organization you’ve never heard of (till now). They are called al-Qaeda, they seem to live in the rocky barrens of Afghanistan, and they are not going anywhere soon.
Al-Qaeda (Arabic for “The Base”) have their roots in the Afghani guerrilla war against the Soviet Union’s occupying forces throughout the 80s. Along with a bunch of other splinter fundamentalist Islamic groups, al-Qaeda fought—often using CIA-supplied weaponry—to drive out the various Vladimirs running around the land of the Pashtun. Al-Qaeda’s leader, however, has a slightly different lineage than your usual Muslim holy warlord. Osama bin Laden is the rich-kid scion of a powerful Saudi Arabian family. In fact, some members of his very large family are pals with some of the important white Christians who used to control the American government in Washington, DC. Luckily for us, they ain’t pals of William Jefferson Clinton.
Once the Soviets fled Afghanistan, totally defeated, the various fundamentalists who had been united in fighting them, rather than saying, “Hey, we won!” and having some nice date cakes and tea and relaxing awhile, began brutally infighting for control of the country. In the meantime, Osama and his crew extended their holy war to include battling all acts of Western dabbling and expansionism in Islamic countries. That’s where we stand right now—facing a hornets’ nest with a six-foot-something King Bee outside it (Osama is really tall), saying, “Do not disturb.” But considering that the US has been incapable of keeping its nose out of Middle Eastern business for the past half century, further brutal action from al-Qaeda is really a matter of “when,” not “if.” Soon enough, these fuckers are coming for us again. Subway bombings? Chemical attacks? Poisoned water supplies? It’s all fair game. The one thing that seems certain is that they won’t have the stones to attack the WTC again. That might be the one safe place in New York City at this point.
So while they are at this exact moment nowhere near as scary as the IRA, Hezbollah, or the Red Army Faction, this could be a breakout year for the eager young cell known as al-Qaeda. Think 1994 Rookie of the Year with future MVP potential. Here’s a little 101, primer, easy-reference-guide sort of a thing where you are asking us questions and we are answering them for you. Hold still while we shove our hand up your ass, you little puppet you.
You: So tell me again, who are these guys?
Vice: You can call them al-Qa’ida, el-Qaida, al-Qaeda, or al Qaida. In spoken Arabic, it has four syllables. Kind of like “Al-Kai-Eee-Da.” It really doesn’t matter because you can’t accurately put the Arabic name into the Western alphabet. Bin Laden says it’s what they used to call their camp back in the good old days; as their camp grew and became, like, a state of mind, so did the name. NATO and the UN consider them an Islamic terrorist group. Bin Laden, formerly of the Maktab al-Khidamat mujahideen, honed his terror talents against Russkies in Afghanistan. Now he and a bunch of underlings are on a recruitment drive to beef up the ranks and prepare to slaughter the West and its immoral ways.
You: Hang on a minute—doesn’t Islam teach the faithful to love Allah and one’s neighbor?
Vice: Al-Qaeda justify everything through the Koran and cite historical precedents for blowing shit up. Cofounder Mamdouh Mahmud Salim has pointed to the teachings of Ibn Taymiyyah, a 13th-century scholar, to justify the jihad his organization wages on the West. Taymiyyah asserted that Muslims were justified in killing the Mongols who invaded their lands and endangered the Muslim state. Salim simply switched out the word Mongols for imperialist infidels from the West—voilà, jihad justification. He also said it was fine to kill anyone who helped, sheltered, or tolerated infidels. And if an innocent Muslim bystander is killed in the process of taking on the Great Satan, that’s OK as well, because paradise awaits him or her.
This is what distinguishes al-Qaeda from your average radical Islamist group that focuses on more abstract religious theory. Al-Qaeda, since their inception, have focused solely on preventing the West from plundering Muslim land.
Vice have recently rubbished claims that the magazine had insider information on 9/11, in a 2011 article sarcastically titled “APPARENTLY WE WERE IN ON 9/11“:
We kept the secret for 10 long years, but some nosey dinks finally pulled off our human-masks revealing the scaly, reptilian faces underneath.
Paul notices this, and reasons that it would be “impossible” for us to imagine exactly what happened. Someone, he says, “most probably opened their big mouth for some reason who told the person who wrote this article what the government was going to do.”
I wish I spent social time with illuminate important enough to have been in on the conspiracy to bomb the World Trade Center and blame it on Osama Bin Laden, but sadly Bilderberg refuses to acknowledge Vice’s rightful position atop the New World Order. We can get a third off drinks at the Old Blue Last though, so it’s not like we’re totally powerless.
Latest posts by Sean Adl-Tabatabai (see all)
- WW3: Trump Threatens to Obliterate Iran - June 25, 2019
- Russia: Downed US Drone Was in Iranian Air Space - June 25, 2019
- Crenshaw: Maxine Waters’ HATE for Trump so Deep She’s Willing to Take Iran’s Side - June 25, 2019